


Complicated Feelings

by SweptwingSugar



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:54:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28566543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweptwingSugar/pseuds/SweptwingSugar
Summary: What would happen if when Sabrina Morningstar died, her memories and emotions merged into Spellman? How would she manage Morningstar's feelings and desires mixed up into her own? Mostly canon up to that point, except for in this her time on the Eldritch Earth was longer and a few other possible minor adjustments, but will definitely diverge from canon from there. This is a response to a prompt. More details in my note in chapter one.
Relationships: Caliban (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina) & Sabrina Spellman, Harvey Kinkle/Nicholas Scratch/Sabrina Spellman, Harvey Kinkle/Sabrina Spellman, Nicholas Scratch/Sabrina Spellman, Prudence Night/Ambrose Spellman
Kudos: 25





	Complicated Feelings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ParkerK3246](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParkerK3246/gifts).



> I've written this in response to a prompt issued by ParkerK3246. I'm not following every suggestion completely, but certainly the general gist which asks for the Harvey/Sabrina/Nick pairing and time travel back to an earlier season. In this case, we are going to go back to part 2. This is unbeta'd and written quickly without my typical anal retentive five times over perfectionistic self-editing, so advanced apologies for any and all mistakes. Updates can be expected weekly. Hope you enjoy!

Sabrina threaded her fingers through Nick's where their hands were braced on either side of his head as their tongues dueled for dominance and their hips ground together, desperate to get closer. While their last time together had been tenderly passionate and slow, this time they were burning hot and fast, no time for feeling anything other than desire raging out of control.

She was jerked out of the haze of desire by a crash behind her. Twisting around, she saw her twin land heavily on the floor, a swirling silver maelstrom where the glass of the mirror used to be left in her wake. Scrambling up, she yelled the incantation necessary to break the connection with what she could only assume was the Void. Dropping down next to Morningstar, she began to cry as Sabrina, clearly struggling to breathe, warned her of the coming destruction before going limp and lifeless in her arms.

She felt Nick's arms come around her from behind and welcomed the warmth to help combat the chill sinking into her very bones as she cradled her best friend to her chest. She heard Nick begin to murmur soothing words before the room seemed to tilt on its axis, the blonde girl in her arms suddenly seeming very far away, and all sound disappearing under a dull roar in her ears. She gasped, reeling, as the crushing guilt and grief she'd been feeling a moment ago got lost under a storm of emotion as months of memories not her own began parading through her mind, faster than she could process them.

Dimly, she could feel Nick's hands gripping her shoulders and imagined he was probably very concerned about her, demanding to know what was going on, but she couldn't move, couldn't speak as the wave of feelings and memories took her under, down into blessed, peaceful darkness.

When she opened her eyes sometime later, she winced at the brightness of the lights, groaning as she raised a hand to her temple, where she felt a blistering pain with each beat of her heart.

She heard her name as Nick's face, a mask of worry, appeared in her field of vision. Blinking, she attempted a small smile of reassurance. "I'm fine, Nick," she said, then winced at how raspy and weak her voice sounded.

Nick smoothed her hair back from her head, very gently. "What happened, Spellman?"

Carefully, Sabrina began pushing herself up and Nick instantly moved behind her to help support her. Feeling weaker than she liked, she leaned back against his chest.

Taking a moment, she took stock of herself. Other than the fatigue and the headache, she felt fine, physically. But she felt strung out emotionally, on the brink of breaking down into a fit of tears. When she began examining her own mind, she found memories of hell, of her father and Calaban, meetings and parties, images of herself in events she remembered, but from someone else's perspective. She saw a memory of singing with Harvey, Roz, and Theo, laughing and hugging, followed by confusing memories of what looked like a TV set still with their friends, except they were all acting strangely.

As she sifted through it all, she felt overwhelmed by all of the feelings that were not her own. Her love for her father, for Caliban, for herself, and, surprisingly, a love for Harvey that went deeper than the platonic friends she had known they were. As she searched her mind for more details, she found so many more memories from the strange TV set like house, of talking cats and long conversations with a version of Harvey that was different than the one she knew, yet so endearingly the same. It seemed that in the world her doppelganger had ended up on, time had not moved the same and she had lived at least a year or two in the time that had only been a couple of months to all of them in Greendale.

Sabrina twisted around to look up into Nick's concerned visage. "When she died, her memories and feelings merged with mine," she told him. "There's so much- months of memories from ruling hell and what was, from her perspective, years on the Eldritch Earth."

She saw his eyes darken at the mention of hell and instinctively ran a soothing hand up his chest. He responded by cupping the side of her face in his hand. "Are you alright?" he asked softly.

She closed her eyes and leaned in to kiss him. As his lips moved over hers, she felt her own emotions rise up- her love for this man, her need to protect him from ever being hurt by her father again, and the sense of safety and warmth she always got when in Nick's arms. As quickly as the feelings came, though, she felt them be overwhelmed and washed out by a feeling of butterflies taking wing in her stomach as a memory of kissing Harvey appeared in her mind, followed closely by a feeling of longing as Caliban's face replaced Harvey's behind her closed eyelids. She pulled back, eyes flashing open in alarm.

She saw Nick's eyebrows draw together in yet another look of concern. If she wasn't careful, she was going to give the man an ulcer. "I'm sorry," she rushed to say. "I- it's just that her feelings are a lot to handle." She paused, unsure of what to tell him, and he said nothing, watching her face and waiting patiently for her to continue.

She ducked her head, unable to meet his gaze as she continued, "As much as I don't understand why, she loved Caliban. She missed him greatly while she was gone. But she also over time developed some kind of a relationship with a Harvey lookalike in the other world. Her memories of him remind me of the Harvey I used to know, before my 16th birthday, before all this," she waved a hand in the air and risked a glance up at Nick's face, which was, purposefully, she knew, carefully blank. 

"I love you," she said, earnestly, needing him to be absolutely sure of that fact.

His face remained impassive, his voice low and controlled, as he responded, "I love you too."

"I'll sort it out. I swear I will and we will come out of it stronger than ever, okay? I'm just going to need some time." She used her eyes to plead with him and knew he understood what she was asking for. Understanding. Patience. Acceptance that while these feelings were not her own, she still felt them as acutely as if they were.

He nodded, once, before pulling her securely against him and burying his face in her hair. She wrapped her arms tight around him, trying to impart a sense of security. She was with him and she wasn't going to let him go ever again.


End file.
